Quest for the Perfect Pencil

Few things torment me more than a stubborn wooden pencil. 

I'm serious. I consider the standard #2 wooden pencil to be my adversary, my arch nemesis, the villain in my superhero teaching story. It interrupts my class, assaults our ears with the help of its trusty sidekick, the electric sharpener. It taunts me with promises of unbounded lead, only to break said promise at the slightest pressure. 

But I've not yet given up on the noble quest for the perfect pencil. I've met many worthy opponents over the years. Let's take a look at some of them, shall we? 

The Scratcher

This specimen starts out as a regular pencil. Perhaps you didn't select it on your own but it looks just fine at first glance. You touch lead to paper and start to write. You think Wow, things are really looking up for me today. But after a few short minutes, you hear the wretched sound of wood on paper and you know that the jig is up. You've been duped by "The Scratcher." The point is half-lead and half-wood, genetically engineered to ruin your day. 

The Underachiever

There was never a hope with this particular breed of pencil. You knew from the start that it's never going to work, so there's no real let-down. Sure, with the right amount of guidance, this pencil could have turned out okay. But let's face it, you were in a hurry. You wanted the sharpener to do the work and so you didn't apply the right amount of pressure, you didn't feed it into the sharpener the way the instruction manual suggests. Deep down, you know it's your fault. That's why you--like me--tear the wooden part off and use it anyway. 

The Heartbreaker

I find this to be the most offensive pencil of all. Fresh out of the sharpener, The Heartbreaker appears to be the whole package. Walking back to your seat, you daydream about the wonderful things it will create. (Your handwriting will be neater, your ideas will sparkle, your paper will become the answer key, etc.) You decide that this is your favorite pencil. This pencil has promised you the world. You take a deep breath and--SNAP--the lead breaks out and onto your desk before the fairy tale can even begin. No happily ever after for you!

The Lovely Bones

The pencil bucket in my room is a graveyard of sorts. There resides all the "pencil bones" from fruitless attempts to create the perfect pencil. I'm embarrassed to admit that I don't throw them away. I share a special camaraderie with these little guys. One of my former first graders used to hoard "pencil bones." She'd wrap them up in a tissue and call them her babies. Pretty imaginative, if you ask me. 

So, what's the perfect pencil look like?

My quest for the perfect pencil today took somewhere between 24-30 attempts with three different sharpeners. Sharp, works under pressure, wasn't reduced to a stub during the sharpening process--this one's the winner. I'm not ashamed to admit that a pencil like this can change my world. 

Is this seriously what you do with your day, Miss Boyd? 

Yes. This is what I do with my day.

I can't begin to explain to you just how important one perfect pencil is, let alone twelve. The perfect pencil reduces interruptions, prevents students from becoming distracted or sidetracked, and--just like in my case--creates a sense of magic about the writing process. 

One more thing...

In my obsession to find the perfect pencil today, I've been confronted with the argument that my beef is really with the sharpener, not the pencil. Maybe so. I'll save that for another day. 

**Thank you Coach Speer, for taking AMAZING pencil pictures for me today!**